Sunday, 26 February 2012

Story Time! (why didn't I call the first one that?)

Refer to first part of story for the fact I have stopped writing this.

Ok I've done some more. Next bit should be interesting, but it might take a while. School.

After a moment of shocked silence; Lyra pulled the rocket launcher out of her bag and pointed it at a small group of the vampires. “Who is your creator? We want to speak with him.” Lorelei levelled a glare at the vampires, “that bazooka will blow half of you into little fleshy scraps if you’re not careful. We want to speak with your creator. Now!” One of the group of vampires scurried back behind the rest.

It was a strange bunch of vampires too. They were all full vampire, but obviously very new. There were all different races and nationalities, like someone had gone around the world and picked a person from everywhere. None of them were talking, most stared at the bazooka, some were looking around as if unsure as to what they should do and then a couple of bold ones glared at the girls. Suddenly they all parted and a figure strode through their midst.

She was as tall and thin as a super-model, with a self-important stride she approached the girls. She tossed her wavy red hair and glared at them with her hard blue eyes. There was a venom in the look that made Lorelei uneasy and her own dark blue eyes flickered away. Lyra was bolder though, and locked glares with the other woman. They looked like they were about to launch into a soap opera bitch fight.

There was recognition in their eyes, Lorelei realised. She looked back at the other woman and tried to see if she remembered fighting her before. The woman sighed and broke off the staring competition that had unofficially started. “Lyra Blue.” Was the almost incredulous remark in a pleasant Russian accent, “I never thought I’d see you here.”

“And I you, Scoriza. I must say you’ve put on weight since we last met.”

“I thought you were staying out of things like this Lyra,” Scoriza sneered, ignoring the insult, “You’re going to make trouble for yourself if you keep on like this.”

“Mostly just trouble for you I think. Have you met my good friend Lorelei? She’s quite experienced on the trouble front.”

“No actually, I haven’t had the pleasure.” Scoriza extended her hand, “Lady Scoriza Venaskie, it’s a pleasure.” Lorelei looked at the hand suspiciously; then back at Lady Venaskie, she sighed.

“I think I’ve missed something here. How do you two know each other?” A look was exchanged and Lyra replied. “It’s nothing Fetch, just history. We don’t need to go into it now.” Scoriza smirked, withdrew her hand, but said nothing. The vampires shifted uneasily.

Lyra looked at Lorelei. Lorelei looked at the possibly fatal position they were in and brought her own hand out. “Lorelei Fetch, and the pleasure is all mine,” Scoriza took it graciously and curved her scarlet painted lips into a smile. “Well then now we are all properly introduced. Kill them,” and with that she disappeared into the mass of oncoming vampires.

Lyra fired instantly, taking out a good chunk with the rocket launcher, then they each pulled up their AK47 and let loose. The younger vampires fell easily, but the older ones closed in swiftly. “We can’t do this Fetch! I needed more warning to set the timer!” Lyra yelled over the noise, “We have to retreat!!” “Ten four Blue! I’ll hold. You go first!” With a quick glance at her friend Lyra dashed out the door and back into the searing heat. Lorelei came through the wall three seconds later and Lyra grinned.

Lorelei’s skills were unique, she liked to call it ghosting, the way she could fade into insubstantiality and float. Sometimes she even did it in her sleep. Now that was funny, once she had woken up on the roof of a skyscraper. Of course Lorelei didn’t find it as funny as Lyra did; she said it was a serious issue. If she came back to full density while half in a wall she didn’t think Lyra would laugh so much.

Of course now they were running. Running for their lives; but the vampires probably wouldn’t follow them outside. After all, heat was heat, and the vampires probably didn’t like it any more than everyone else. So they stopped and returned to the general store.

Lyra got her phone out. “Who are you calling?”

“Someone who should be helpful.”


“Shush Fetch!” Lorelei sighed and rolled her eyes.

“Hey, Nix? Yeah it’s Lyra Blue, remember the zombies?” She paused, then laughed. Lorelei frowned. “I know yeah. Say! Feel like doing some killing?” Another pause, “vampires.” She twirled a strand of hair around her finger, “OK sweet yeah Coober Pedy. See you there.”  Lorelei looked at her friend sternly, “was that Nixion Strange? Because didn’t he kill a bunch of people? You know, innocent people?”

“Yeah, but he’s good at killing things. And I think he’s over that whole serial killer thing.”

“You think?”

“I’m almost absolutely positive.”

“Wunderbar.” Lorelei sighed and went buy another ice cream.

Friday, 24 February 2012

My First Fanfic

Achtung! I have ceased to write this story. Sorry.

No, that isn't a childrens book I'm reading. I have actually started to write a story from the whole Skulduggery Pleasant theme. It's mostly to develop my persona, Lorelei Fetch, but I have included Lyra Blue and promised to include Nixion Strange.
So yeah, this is it so far. I hope I can write some more over the weekend, but TEOTW might take up too much of my time....we'll see.

btw I'm thinking I'll call it L&L for now (Lyra and Lorelei) but once again, we'll see.

It was hot. Sticky, stinking, burning heat that made the air shimmer over the sun baked rocks of the desert. Lorelei shielded her eyes from the sun as she stared out over the god-cursed landscape. She hated it when it was hot. The Bespoke clothes she wore kept her body cool; but she could still feel the heat nagging at her mind. She couldn’t think when it was hot. It made her want to curl up in a freezer and eat chocolate cake. It was because of the heat that she had left Australia in the first place.

Yet here she was again. Oh well she thought, at least I don’t live here anymore. She turned her attention back to finding the vampires. She knew they were living somewhere nearby, probably in one of the caves that a lot of Coober Pedy residents preferred. She just had to work out which one.

Lyra Blue was waiting for her at the general store. Lorelei would be glad for the help, and Lyra was one of her oldest friends. They had met while doing some combat training together and became fast friends. If they weren’t busy they still sparred occasionally; but that wasn’t often.

Before she stepped out onto the street she checked her weapons. The last thing she needed was to be caught unprepared. But it was apparently too hot for anyone but Lyra and herself.

“Hiya Fetch! How ya been, got a couple of little pests I hear?” Lyra and Lorelei always called each other by their last names. It was a habit they had picked up from action movies. “I’m as good as I can be, considering I’ve gotta get rid of two vampires in one day. What about you Blue?”

“All in a day’s work Fetch, you know that. But god it’s hot! Can we take this inside for now?”

“Just try and stop me! I wish these sorts of things wouldn’t happen to me, I thought I was done with this place you know?”

“Yeah, yeah you give me that every time. Come on.”

They got two ice creams and sat down below the air conditioner. Lyra licked her double scoop of chocolate and gestured for Lorelei to begin.

“Right, so the idea is, because I’m so carefree and jobless the Aussie Sanctuary thinks it can pick on me. I keep telling them I won’t do any Aussie jobs and they keep upping the price. Apparently though they are low on resources, they are not low on cash. Also they claim I’m still legally an Australian citizen.

Anyway, Grand Mage whatshisname is gonna give me two grand to get rid of these vamps that are causing trouble and I heard you had something new developed.”

Lyra grinned. She had indeed been busy at the bomb range lately and with some devastating results. “You just wait til ya see this Fetch. You won’t even know those vampires were there once we’re done with them.” Lorelei grinned back over her cookies and cream.

“Then what are we waiting for?”


The vampires were behind a hot pink door with a unicorn painted on it. They knew this because it was the only door that was locked with magic. No one had answered the front door, so they had picked the lock. Now they had come to the unicorn door and it simply would not be picked. Magic wasn’t working either.

“I always knew unicorns were evil,” Lorelei sighed, “looks like we’re going to have abandon stealth.”

“Not to worry Fetch. I was never one for sneaking up on vampires anyway.” Lyra pulled some C4 out of her bag as she spoke and pressed a small ball onto the door. “Bit more than that wouldn’t you say? I mean the door is hot pink,” Lorelei said.

“Probably,” Lyra put another couple of chunks along the door, pressed a relatively short fuse into one and lit it with her Zippo.

The explosion was loud, but barely noticeable from outside the cave. You could walk past and not know anything had happened; if you ignored the faintly smoking front door that was. “Good job Blue,” Lorelei grinned and gestured to the door, “shall we?”

“We shall,” replied Lyra and the two girls walked through the blackened entryway and came face to face with at least two dozen vampires.

Wednesday, 22 February 2012


I have just discovered the most awesome thing on the internet!!

Mapcrunch, is a site where you can get placed in a random spot anywhere in the world. It uses Google Maps Streetview and has turned in to a fabulous game. All you have to do is find the airport!!

The idea is thet you have woken up in this mystery location and need to find the airport to get home. All you have to do is go to the site and select all countries, hide location, urban only and press n on your keyboard. Then find the airport!
Good luck!!!

Thursday, 16 February 2012


As you well know, I have no taken name. So (regardless of the strange looks) I have been reading my dictionary.
I believe I have come up with an quite idoneous name. Loreley Fetch.

Loreley (or Lorelei) is a rock by the river Rhine in Germany. And a Fetch is a doppelganger of Irish folklore whose sight would was a harbinger of your death (a bit like a banshee). Apparently though, if it appears in the morning it's a sign of long life.

So yeah, let me know your thoughts. Is it alright? Should I use Loreley of Lorelei?

Tuesday, 14 February 2012

Bunny Suicides!

The Book of Bunny Suicides is probably my favourite book of all time. Here are some little fluffy rabbits who just don't want to live anymore:

Monday, 13 February 2012

Mist's profile of Lyra Blue.

For those of you who do not know; Lyra Blue is a character I made up a while ago for Derek Landy's competition. She has become a favourite of mine and recently I have let Zathract Mist and Nixion Strange (formerly Nobody) use her as a part of their stories. Check out their blogs if your interested. Nix is doing the first story and Mist is doing the sequel.
Zathract Mist has been kind and imaginative enough to write a full profile of Lyra. I have put it below.

Name: Lyra Blue

Age: 66 (looks twenties)

Magic: Adept

Adept Abilities: Varied: excellent with weapons, difficult to injure, harder to kill. Combat specialty.
Appearance: Lyra has jagged black silky hair that stretches to her shoulders. Her build is slim and has an average height and weight for a twenty year old. Her skin is pale and Lyra has dark brown eyes. She mostly wears clothes of black and red and seems to reserve white for special occasions.

Personality: Lyra is actually a bit paranoid and it is displayed publicly as she has at least six weapons on her at all times. She never trusts anyone under any circumstances and but observe people she could possibly count as allies while acting casual, not giving away the fact that she is watching them Blue is normally quiet unless selling something to earn herself a living.

History: Lyra has always loved martial arts and loved actually doing it even more. And swords too. Lyra always liked swords. Also guns. Guns were a must. And still are. Lyra was born an orphan, never knowing what happened to her parents. She left the orphanage at the age of 10, seeking out her parents and trying to collect information on them. Eventually she tracked down her auntie who informed her that Lyra’s mother died in childbirth and her father was driven insane by the loss, now locked up in an asylum. Shattered by this piece of information, Lyra left her auntie before she could protest and ended up living on the streets for four years after becoming lost. Lyra always kept on the move, not wanting to go back to the orphanage but also despising the streets she lived on.

After four years, Lyra accidentally caught sight of two reckless Sorcerers battling in a pub one night and soon learned of the secret magical subculture that existed all over the world. After losing the trail of the two Sorcerers, Lyra searched and studied and searched some more and soon she found a Mage willing to teach her magic (should she have any) as long as she stopped pestering him. Much to the Mage’s dismay, it turned out that Lyra did have magic and he was forced to help her learn Adept powers. After a year, the Mage abandoned her after she assured him that she no longer required assistance.

Now that she had learned magic, Lyra begun to age must slower and lived through many centuries, discovering along the way that she had been left a huge load of illegal weapons by her made grandfather. Unable to work out why she was left this, Lyra took them anyway. Now 66, Lyra Blue deals in magical and non-magical weapons, selling them to make a living and using them to kill her opponents.

Lyra is also a very advanced assassin when she wants to be, but will demand a high price from her employees.

Lyra currently is living in London.


Sunday, 12 February 2012

Happy Birthday to me *hums the rest of song*

It's the most popular song in the world!! And apparently I share this day with nine million other people!


It's my birthday!!!!!! YAY ME!

*excited hyperactiveness expires*
Yeah, so. Now you all know when my birthday is.
Oh yes. oh yes oh yes. I. Want. This.
*sees fountain appear in blogland*
*dives in*

Saturday, 11 February 2012

Tumblr continued. + Movies

I am now using tumblr. But just ignore that fact. Because I wont be using it often.

I ask you all. What movie should I see for my B'day tomorrow????

I can't figure it out!

Friday, 3 February 2012


Yes I've given in. I've joined Tumblr.

Now I'm bored again.......

Oh wait! here's the link to the blog I'm slowly going to develop.

Thursday, 2 February 2012


Finally! I've gotten around to this.......Why do I put so many exclaimation marks after words?
Anyway, here are some choice signs...

Just in case you were wondering what that gritty yellow stuff is.............

Yeah, and then where do you go?
...All others must use the door.
Of course, I use this exit all the time.
Free Cash Machine, just what i need!
If only.....
I can see the fence!
Can you see the fence?
fair enough...
Well I guess they weren't that good anyway....

Thanks for looking!! I just love these things. Check out the signspotting website for more!



Easter chocolate is in the shops again!

just thought you'd all like to know.